I can’t be alone anymore. 
My happiness is dependent
On the Presence of Others
And a comforting touch.  

You don’t get it…
I don’t want to come home
Only to lie in the dark
Only to have my mind’s
Unbearable, torturing  
thoughts agonize me.  

I start out stable 
and then a tiny voice starts to talk
and it overanalyzes my life
and my friends
and slowly she starts to panic
which makes me panic
and this voice never stops talking
She never lets me reason
She cries until ultimately, 
She consumes me  

And she’s always talking during the day
but…it’s okay…
people calm her down
people let her breathe
While my mind processes conversation
and touch
She can breathe
She loves people

She loves them so much
she loves her smile
she loves how his hands melt on mine
She loves the sigh she makes after a long laugh
She loves them all
They keep her sane

She is such a contradiction of who I am
but at the same time we are identical
I want to be loved
She wants to be loved
I’m scared of confrontation
of Interaction  
She demands it
I am calm
I am tranquil
She is unstable
Anxious.

We were put into the same body
but whatever deity did this
Did not foretell our differences.  
What I want…
she will scare away
What she wants…
I cannot fulfill
Whether it be by choice or by rule.  

Ultimately I bare the consequences.  
She will never hold such a burden
I am the one troubled
She is the creator
the catalyst.

I just want to be okay
I just want her to be okay
I want us to be okay

No matter the war between us
we are the same.
We want what each other wants

I dish the reasons
I experience the world
and she ignites panic
She tears it apart inside  

It’s like I’ll never live in peace
So I’m just trying to ease her anxious heart
in hopes that mine will one day stop aching.