I am so pale
and So sickly 
from standing in the 
Shadows 
of brilliance 

I am so tiny
and so frail
my fingers quiver
and my voice is small

I’m on the outside
so distant so cold 
I push through thousands of bodies
and yet i am alone. 

in their eyes I see nothing.
I see exotic colors
deep browns
glistening blues
I see people in their eyes. 

In the black circle I see
love
i see Dialated affection 
I see the connections of souls 

In the Iris I see
hatred 
The more color
the less dilated 
the more disdane

and In the whites…
i see apathy 
I see looking away
lack of interest 
no care
no thirst for…
in the whites I see me….

I am in the whites of so many’s eyes.
thousands
In the blacks of one or two
and in the iris of a few
but I am the apathy of so many 

I am second best
i will never amount to the thousands
i will never amount to their brilliance
i will always be tracing my steps in their shadows
i’ll never be in their blacks
or even their Irises 

And I want to scream out
and shake them all.
I want to make them see 
I want to run from their shadows
and before their feet
and Show them…
how much i can really be
how much i can give
how much of a person I am. 

I wish i was beautiful
I wish i was talkative 
I wish i was talented 
i wish people would look past
my beautiful, talented, talkative friends
Look past into their shadows
and see me…
not for their companion
but for who i am. 

but they won’t 
i will remain in the whites…
i will hide in conversation
and pretend I’m not alone 
pretend that I’m in the black 
when it as plane as anyone can see
i am in the whites. 

but one day…
one day
i will be bigger than life. 
there will be shadows behind me for once

but there will be no one in the white
and I won’t turn my back to my shadows
for what is light when there is no shadows?