I’m a fighter 
and you know I am.
battle scars are crested in my skin.  
But, I’ve reached a point where they they’re just wear and tear.
Not Something that bleeds and feels.
i’ve reached a peace
which has ultimately lead to chaos.

I can’t feel anymore.
And I wear myself to the bone
and try to perfect everything I touch 
and actually try to make myself sad enough to cry. 
because I can’t feel what makes me feel human anymore.

My emotions are so compressed.
They travel through my throat in screams
and in being polite I hold them back.
I try to swallow them.
But end in tears and uneven breathing.

I won’t tell you this,
But I need someone to hold me.
and probe me.
And dissect everything about me.  
and make me confess to them
And make me cry
And make me feel again.

I need you to ask.
And KEEP asking.
until i want to kill you.

and I need someone to notice me scratching
I need you to make me eat.
And force me to do the things
That I tell you I don’t want to
or don’t need to.

I need you to push me to my limits.
I need you to be angry with me.
And disapointed
and help me.
And asks whats wrong.
and don’t take nothing for an answer.
Don’t stop asking until I explode with a confession.
But I need you to wipe my tears.
And touch me as gently as you can.
And feel my heart beating on your chest.

I need someone to love me enough
to fight a fighter.
i want people to know
And care
..but I won’t let anyone…
i need you to force me.

I need you to force me
I need you to push me until I feel
And bleed and cry and laugh
I can’t keep screaming.
Crack me open
release what I won’t let out
Force me.